what's next?

Personally, I don't go to see a stand-up comedy performance expecting to get great philosophical life advice. I expect to be entertained and I hope to be distracted from the realities of my life for a short while. Well this week, Wil Anderson raised the bar. Being the impatient person that I am, I don't like having personal emotional situations that I cannot control. And I always want to find the quickest, easiest way of fixing the situation so I don't have to feel the yucky feelings. A psychologist introduced me to the very helpful technique of Mindfulness. For someone who thinks about things so obsessively I can't actually get anything useful done, this is fantastic. All it is really is forcing yourself to focus. If I am walking, focus on what I am seeing and hearing and where I am going. If I am doing a uni reading, paying attention to every word. All of a sudden, the day has flown by, things have been achieved and you are a day ahead in moving on from the problem. This technique is great for forcing you to be in the present, not dwelling on the past. However, when Wil Anderson shared his very simple life philosophy in his stand-up show, he gave me a great way to move into the future. In any given situation, good or bad, all you need to say is "what's next?". You can't change the past, so what do you want the future to be? If something good has happened, you can ask yourself "what's next?" and think about how you can perpetuate and build upon this positive event. If something shit happens, ask "what's next" and think about what positive situations you can now work towards. This is definitely an attitude I have always had towards clothes and shopping, which in a way is quite unfortunate. I buy something and then I always think "what's next?". Every few months I go through my closet and take out the things that no longer fit, or that I don't like any more. And I also re-discover old things that I had forgotten about and I make a point to give them another spin. Maybe this is a method that one could use in their lives and relationships. Look at who you have around you, do these people still fit? are they still as fabulous as you thought they were at the beginning? what kind of new people do you need to add a new dimension to your life? what people have you forgotten or neglected? There is only so much room in your wardrobe, and only so many hours and days in your life. Fill them with things and people that give you joy and take very good care of them so they last forever. Love. x

Never Ending Narratives

According to my fantastic second year lecturer, we have long been mistaken as to the world's oldest profession. Did anyone bother to ask, "Why would men need to pay for sex if they had a club?". We can use our clubs to provide all of our instinctual needs, food, sex, protection. However, we cannot force anyone to tell us a story, the only way to cajole someone into telling you their latest adventures is to give them money, or beer, or maybe even sex. Therefore, the world's first profession was that of the journalist, the original storytellers.
It seems a bit strange that something that isn't physically critical can be such an instinctual priority to humans. I have come up for a few reasons for this:
- A greater scope of knowledge of the world. Hearing about other people experiences teaches up empathy, inspires ambitions and warn us of difficulties or dangers.
- A source of comparison. As social beings we inherently measure ourselves against others. It is where we find our sense of success and failure as we consciously or subconsciously compete with each other. We want to know what other people are doing so we can learn from their mistakes and achievements.

As I have also observed, these instinctual demands can often overlap. We tell stories over food, and often these are stories of our sexual escapades. Perhaps we are so used to delivering the tales of our romantic/sexual experiences that these relationships have begun to follow the same flow of a traditional narrative.

Many will agree all successful narratives must include:
- Characters
- Relevance
- Mystery
- Conflict
- Climax
- Resolution

Certainly as they are portrayed over pizza, the characters in our own narratives always take on (or are given) the persona's of heroes and villains. We usually only hear about people who have done something really nice or really terrible to another.

And if a story needs mystery and suspense, well most of our personal narratives are generally expressed as a method of answering baffling questions. Usually about the villain. We hope that someone we know has had a similar experience that will explain all the pain away and give us a neatly wrapped solution tied up with a bow.

Which kind of explains the need for relevance. Just as each writer has an intended audience, so humans experiencing personal trauma. We seek out most qualified person to confide in about our particular conundrum. Those who are older, wiser, skinnier, sluttier, or more successful become the sources for a greater scope of knowledge.

The climax of a relationship, as in a narrative, can be positive or negative. I am a person of emotional extremes, so thrilling moments can be just as intense as the heart breaking ones. I think the climax is the moment in a relationship you will always associate with the other person.

It is my aim to create moments and experiences that are always more enjoyable and character building than the last. To have more positive stories to tell than negative ones. To ask the right questions and to learn from others' answers and experiences.

The world's oldest story was about a man named Gilgamesh who wanted to be immortal. Eventually he discovered that the best way to do this was to do great things that will be remembered forever.

Love. x