It was going to happen eventually...

30 years ago next month, when I wasn’t even a twinkle in my father’s eye (little did he know he would be blessed with a daughter who would use his personal journey as an opener for a story), my Mum and Dad were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend. Mum still has the dress she wore with boots to the so-called “disco” where the rest of our families history was born.
My parents aren’t really the romantic kind, which probably makes me love the story of how they met even more; when I ask them about it they usually just roll their eyes or say they don’t remember. I may not have grown up with the most harlequin of role models, but I am the product of a very romantic, fairly unique encounter. And it was with that boost that I myself headed out on my first blind date last week.
My “set-up” wasn’t the most traditional kind, my work colleagues and I left a napkin with my phone number for “the hot manager with glasses” on our table at the bar. When I got a text 10 minutes later asking if I wanted to go for dinner, so began the combined feelings of “this is just like in the movies!” and “what the hell have I gotten myself into?” that would follow me around for the next few days. One charming colleague declared I was desperate, I chose to think of it as daring.
So for anyone who has the resolve and the romantic spirit to leave your number on a table or submit yourself to a friend playing cupid, here are my pointers:

Step 1: The outfit.

I am aware that I care more about clothes than most people, I know, but this isn’t about getting preachy about not wearing black and brown together or that tights will never, ever be pants. This is about first impressions.
All I knew about my date was his first name and his place of work. He knew my name. Even in a job interview there is a resume involved, so let’s not pretend that we both wouldn’t be snatching up every bit of information we could get. Which is why I actually don’t really care what you wear, as long as its an honest representation of yourself. This Queen of Shopping (that isn’t a self-appointed title, I earned it) is telling you not to buy a new outfit. This situation is already rife with opportunities for feeling uncomfortable, let’s not add experimenting with strapless dresses to the equation. Wear something you love and that makes you feel like you. Your date hasn’t seen you in it before so it will be brand new to them anyway!
Here is what I asked myself: If I was going to style another person to look like me, what would I choose? My answer: Black. Slightly sheer. Comfortable shoes. This:

If your answer is head-to-toe Ken Done prints or an 80’s prom dress, then do it. Because you don’t want this person to fall in love with this season’s peplum skirt, you want them to fall in love with you.

Step 2: Don’t have any expectations.

Yes, it could have been a bit emotionally suicidal for a rom-com addict such as myself to embark on a blind date the week before Valentine’s day. And yes, using the extremely limited parameters I had to work with I did embark on an unsuccessful Facebook search. However, I am glad I got nowhere because that’s the point of a blind date, absolutely no preconceptions. Enjoy the moment for what it is, a chance for you to present yourself to fresh eyes and vice versa. As my Mother once said, “it would be a fluke if anything comes of it,” (I told you, not the rom-com type).
The achievement is in the fact that you are putting yourself out there, and not in the way those girls put it ALL out there in nightclubs on a Saturday night. If nothing comes of it, then you are simply a day and a dare closer to what you want than you were yesterday.
P.S. There is a difference between being daring and being vulnerable. Always let someone know where you will be and despite the nervous jitters, try not to over-do the alcohol.

Step 3: Leave a little mystery

It has been pointed out to me by several members of my friends, family, and even acquaintances that I share too much personal information. My argument to this is that I am not ashamed of my life and my decisions. Don’t get me wrong, several times a week I do things that leave me completely red-faced with embarrassment, but I would prefer to use them to give other people a laugh rather than lock them away in shame. However, this date was one time in which I made the conscious decision to strap a filter over my mouth. I decided that this person didn’t need to know every ugly detail from my last relationship, or exactly what percentage of my wage I spend on clothes. Don’t lie, never lie. Just let them ask the questions. When they answer one of your questions, let them finish their answer even if you’re like me and always seem to have a really relevant and funny story.
If you don’t interrupt, you learn the more crucial pieces of information. If you don’t give everything away, you’ve left a whole lot of intrigue for the second date.

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I had a great time. I got tipsy and I accidentally ate a chili which left me unable to communicate for several minutes. We related on opinions that I don’t often share with people I meet and we talked until the restaurant was putting up chairs around us. But when my friends all asked me if I wanted to see him again, I realised I didn’t really care either way. Maybe its just my rom-com conditioning, but I want to be blown away by someone. And I am another day and a dare closer.